The Jamaica Inn, Bolventor

"A tale of Waits and Weights"

Ah, the Jamaica Inn, a place where time seems to have taken a leisurely stroll, much like the service. Here's the lowdown:

**Seating:** We were ushered to our seats with the speed of a Jamaican sprinter, which was promising. However, this was the last sprint we saw.

**Drinks:** After what felt like an eternity (or just enough time to debate the meaning of life), our drinks arrived. They were like old friends, showing up fashionably late but still welcome.

**Starters:** The wait for the starters was so long, I think I aged a year. When they finally arrived, they were average, like a B-movie you watch because you've run out of better options.

**Service:** The service was... let's call it 'relaxed'. We had to play detective to find our waitress, who seemed to have taken a detour via the Caribbean on her way back to our table. Cleaning up was like pulling teeth, but without the dental plan.

**Main Course:** After another wait that could have been used to watch a full season of "The Office," the main courses arrived. The food itself? Decent, but not the culinary marvel you'd hope for after such anticipation.

**Overall Experience:** If you're looking for a place where time moves slower than a sloth on Valium, Jamaica Inn is your spot. The food was alright, but the service? Well, let's just say they're still working on their sprint training.

**Rating:** 2 out of 5 stars. Not for the food, but for the patience it taught us. If you're in no rush and enjoy a good chat with your companions, this might just be the place. But if you're on a schedule, you might want to pack a book or perhaps a deck of cards.

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